“Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to like what’s happening. It means we stop trying to fight reality so we can care for ourselves within it.” 

When you’re living with cancer, life may shift in ways that feel disorienting or unwelcome. Things you once relied on—your time, energy, body, work, or identity—might feel uncertain or changed. These losses can be subtle or profound, and they are often accompanied by waves of grief. 

Adapting to this new reality isn’t a straight path. Like grief, the process can move through many emotional landscapes: shock, denial, anger, sadness, fear. With compassion and time, however, moments of acceptance may also emerge. 

It’s important to note that acceptance doesn’t mean agreeing with what’s happening or pretending it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you're okay with it, or that you've "moved on." And it certainly doesn’t mean giving up. 

Instead, acceptance is a shift from struggle to presence. It’s the gentle art of saying: “This is here. How can I care for myself within it?” 

 Ultimately, what is acceptance, really? 

• It’s not giving up or resigning yourself to what feels unbearable. 

• It’s not pretending everything is fine. 

• It’s not forcing yourself to like what’s happening or denying that it hurts. 

• It’s not a sign of failure or weakness. 

Acceptance is about making space inside ourselves for what is already true. It’s choosing to respond with care, rather than resist what we cannot change. In this way practicing acceptance can ease suffering by softening our internal struggle and opening up new ways to relate to pain. 

We can't always control our experience, but we can shape how we meet it. 

The RAIN practice can help you find acceptance and compassion, even in the midst of emotional storms. It’s a simple four-step tool you can use anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or in pain. 

R - Recognize What’s Happening Pause and notice what is present in your mind, body, or heart. 

• "I’m feeling anxious." 

• "There’s a heaviness in my chest." 

• "I’m thinking I should be doing better." 

Just name what you’re experiencing, like a mental whisper. 

A - Allow the Experience to Be Here Let whatever is showing up exist, even if you don’t like it. You’re not agreeing with it—you’re just not fighting it. 

• You might say to yourself: “This is here right now.” 

• Or simply: “Yes” or “It’s okay to feel this.” 

This step helps loosen resistance and makes space for kindness. 

I - Investigate with Curiosity and Care Gently explore your experience. Ask: 

• What is asking for my attention? 

• Where do I feel this in my body? 

• What thoughts are running through my mind? 

• What might this part of me need? 

You’re not analyzing—just getting to know your experience more closely, like you would be a trusted friend. 

N - Nurture with Self-Compassion Offer yourself kindness in a way that feels authentic: 

• A hand on your heart or cheek. 

• A phrase like, “I’m here with you,” or “You’re doing the best you can.” 

• Imagining a wise or loving presence (even a pet!) offering you care. 

These small gestures can shift your nervous system out of survival mode and into connection. 

After moving through RAIN, take a few moments to just be. Notice any softening. Maybe a little more space, breath, or clarity. This presence is your inner resource—a refuge you can return to. 

• Naming ("noting") what you feel—like “fear,” “tightness,” “grief”—can help your mind recognize and organize emotional experiences, giving your nervous system a greater sense of safety and control. 

• If you’re not sure what you feel, it’s okay to keep it simple. Just saying “feeling” or “this” is enough. 

• Don’t worry about getting it “right.” This is a process of kindness, not perfection. 

• If you find yourself using the practice to try to make feelings go away, gently return to your intention to care for what is here, not control or change it. 

Meeting the Moment 

You don’t need to rush toward acceptance. Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is pause, breathe, and simply be with ourselves in a moment of difficulty. 

Practicing acceptance doesn’t mean the pain disappears. But it may begin to feel more bearable, more human, and more connected. 

By recognizing what’s present, allowing space for it, exploring it with care, and offering yourself compassion—you are already practicing acceptance in a profound way. 

Each week, we encourage you to explore the concepts we've discussed through suggested practices and exercises that you can try at home. These activities are designed to help you deepen your understanding and connect the ideas to your own experiences. Approach this ‘homework’ with curiosity—there’s no need to worry about getting it ‘perfect.’ 

1. Journal Prompt:  

2. What is present for me right now—emotionally, physically, mentally? 

3. Is there something I’ve been struggling to accept lately? 

4. What would it look like to allow this experience to be here, even just a little? 

5. If I were to turn toward this feeling with curiosity instead of resistance, what might I notice? 

6. What might this part of me need in order to feel seen, understood, or comforted? 

Finish by writing one sentence of encouragement or care to yourself. Something like:  “I’m doing the best I can,” or “It’s okay to feel this way.” 

1. Guided Meditation: R.A.I.N.