Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding toward yourself, especially in moments of struggle. When it comes to eating and body image, it’s easy to fall into cycles of frustration, guilt, and self-criticism. Practicing self-compassion can transform your relationship with food and yourself. This process unfolds in three stages: striving, disillusionment, and radical acceptance.

1. Striving: The Beginning of Self-Compassion

In the early stages of self-compassion, we often approach it the same way we do other goals: we try hard to “get it right.” When we start being kinder to ourselves, we might feel relief—like the sense of hope and excitement that comes with starting something new. This stage can feel uplifting as we realize that we can meet our own needs, which feels like a significant breakthrough.

2. Disillusionment: When Things Get Hard 

As with any practice, the initial excitement fades, and we can begin to feel disillusioned. We may think we’re not doing it right, or that self-compassion is just another thing we’ve failed at. When we experience frustration, it’s a signal to step back and let go of striving for perfection. It’s not about getting better or making pain disappear. Instead, it’s about learning to soften our approach and accept our struggles without judgment. 

3. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Imperfection 

This is where self-compassion truly transforms. Radical acceptance means accepting our imperfect, messy selves without trying to fix or change everything. In the context of eating, it’s about accepting that it’s okay to be confused, overwhelmed, or frustrated at times. We don’t practice self-compassion to escape pain but to hold space for our struggles with love and kindness. 

We often feel frustrated with our eating habits or body image, but self-compassion is not about “fixing” ourselves. It’s about being kind to who we already are—embracing imperfections rather than striving for some ideal version. Over time, we realize that it’s not about “getting it right” but about being gentle with ourselves, especially during moments of struggle.

As Rob Narin puts it, the goal is to become a “compassionate mess.” We don’t need to be perfect, and it’s okay to be uncertain or confused. What matters is that we meet our imperfections with love. By practicing this, we learn to be kind to ourselves even when things feel hard.

Over time, striving and disillusionment become less frequent. Radical acceptance becomes our steady companion, helping us hold ourselves in compassion, no matter what challenges arise. 

Remember: Self-compassion is not about making the pain go away; it’s about loving ourselves through it. Whether in our eating habits or any other aspect of life, we can be mindful of our suffering, remember our common humanity, and practice kindness to ourselves, embracing the imperfect human experience with love. 

Here are the reflection questions we took time to explore together in Week 6. If you missed the session or would like to deepen your practice, spending time with these questions can offer helpful insight and support your self-compassion journey. 

1. Reflection and Insight 

• What’s been the most helpful idea or practice you’ve learned? Can you share a time in the past week when you applied it?  

2. Deeper Self-Inquiry 

• As you get to know your inner critic—what it sounds like and what it might need—what do you think it would mean to fully accept yourself, including your flaws or pain, in this moment 

3. Challenge and Resistance 

• Is there a particular self-compassion exercise that you’ve found especially challenging or confusing? 

4. Carrying the Practice Forward 

• If you were to explain self-compassion to a friend who’s struggling, what would you say? 

• How do you plan to continue practicing self-compassion—and what personal intention do you want to carry forward with you?